She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
