I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
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I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
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The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
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