bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
Randomize
