i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Randomize
