ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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