He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
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