Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Randomize