? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
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