one might say we're banned from that church
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Randomize
