Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
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