With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
please don't ironically join a cult
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