Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
