I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Randomize
