I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
someone owes me an orgasm
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Randomize