i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Randomize
