Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Is Oprah even human
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
