Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
that is very illegal...i love you.
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