So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
Everything about him screamed your future.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
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