if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
Randomize
