She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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