Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Randomize
