I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
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