I just saw a hot homeless man
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Drake has all the answers
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Randomize
