we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Drake has all the answers
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
