I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Randomize