i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Randomize
