Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
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