Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
