yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
