so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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