Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
3 2 1 whiskey
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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