Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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