He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
What a dumb baby whore.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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