stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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