love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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