Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Randomize
