lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
