It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
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