the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
