next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
