I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Randomize
