I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
organizing the empties. That sober.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize