You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
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