I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Randomize