This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Randomize
