He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
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