I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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