is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
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