well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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