thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
