i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
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