Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
