So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
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