bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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