just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
Reggie can tackle my bush.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Randomize
